X marks the spot

The burning sensation on my torso is killing me. I've added another one, and counted all 29 of them. That's how long it's been. That's how many times i ended my day with pain for thinking about her. That's how many times i tried to keep her out of my mind. And that's how many times i've failed.

Sisyphus, In His Own Words

Welcome to my mountain, Dear Friend. I am Sisyphus, and I am very glad you could join me here. Camus wrote in The Myth of Sisyphus that "One should imagine Sisyphus happy". Whether one imagines it or not, Dear Friend, it is true- I am happy. Indeed I am amongst the happiest and freest of men. I must walk down to the plain now, but if you will come with me I will explain to you why I should be happy, and why it is that your predicament, Dear Friend, is just like mine.

As we make our way down this mountain to the rock which I must push back up to the peak only to watch it fall again, you may be wondering how it is that I could be happy. It might not seem like an enviable situation, I know. But if you will indulge me, I shall tell you how it can be, that a man as unfortunate as myself can smile on a day like this.

White chocolate capuccino, strange places, and the summer heat

This morning, i slept for more or less 2 hrs (4am - 6am). I tried going back to sleep but my bed wants to kill me by squeezing out every last drop of water in body with its hot sheets. "Nagbara" is the proper reaction for this, as the sheets feel like they've been put in an oven and cooked for 4 hrs in 700Kelvin. Nevertheless, i endured the heat and stayed sweating in bed for 3 hours -- wondering if there would ever be a time i'd enjoy this heat. At 9.00, by remembering the things i have to finish before seeing the sun go down and up again and by fear of dying of dehydration, i decided to get up, get a drink, and go on with my life.

Easier said than done. The heat has indeed gotten to me but there are other things in the crazy head of this self-absorbed egomaniac going on that's to blame for being a bum. Here it is:

-----BEGIN PGP MESSAGE-----
Version: GnuPG v1.2.4 (GNU/Linux)
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=tiVz
-----END PGP MESSAGE-----

Anyone who can decrypted SHA1+MD5 encrypted messages probably can read that, but i doubt it's worth your time.

Moving on, i procrastinated for a few hours before doing some actual work. I missed breakfast and lunch, but that's nothing new. Valerie, a friend of Patrick who i work for, making the BP Int'l Shipping Corp. website, called reminding me that the deadliest deadline -- when we'll present the actual website -- for BP is tomorrow. I've completed almost everything before 13.00, but there are a few images missing, which i assume that they expect me to generate myself. No biggie. It's just a little crop here, changing color intensities there -- trivial stuff. It would've been better if Patrick's actually finished his job -- the graphics part -- before leaving for Isabela for some Multi-level marketing gimmick.

Deciding to hold the work until i got back home, i burned the cd's for Anna and took a much needed bath.

I was supposed to meet up with Anna at the CAL building, but i ended up waiting at the faculty center -- close, but not quite right. After checking out books in Nat'l Bookstore Katipunan, we parted. She went to eat at Tia Maria's and i went to Johanna's place to meet up with her Dan.

After meeting with the couple about The Project, i walked to Epoy's and Nico's place. It's no surprise that they're not there. They're probably in Mindoro or just out somewhere.

I went back to Anna's place. She freaked when she saw my face just a few inches from hers. Her scream almost gave me a heart attack, so i sat on her bed until my heartbeat and breathing went back to normal. I told Anna i went there to tell her that she has to use WinRAR for the copy of the Nightmare Before Christmas that i gave her. Ha! She told before that she knows how to use Winrar and how to open winrar files -- it follows that she knows what to do with rar files. I just wanted to hang out with her, i guess.

After watching The Amittyville Horror and her smoking a cigarette, i walked home. I wanted to go straight to Commonwealth, then thru Central Ave, but i decided that's too easy. Sinced i've tried that route before.

Going thru C.P. Garcia, i found myself entering the street near Sarah's to KNL (Krus na Ligas). The streets there fumed the heat the asphalt collected the entire day. It gave me a feeling of nausea and self-hatred. It also caused me to have a headache that feels like somebody's mixing my brain using an egg-beater. After half an hour, i escaped the maze of KNL and entered the labyrinth of Teachersville. It took me more than two hours walking around before i got home.

At home, i quickly logged on to my pc and worked on my stuff while drinking white chocolate capuccino. It is apparent that at this point, i don't feel like writing anymore.